Screamy Drama Queen Channel

It seems that Chris ‘trapped in a bedsheet’ Crocker of superviral fame is to get his own TV show, ‘The Chris Crocker Experience’. Since we last looked in on Chris last week, his teary plea to leave serial caner and mother-when-she-remembers Mrs. Federline alone has ramped up a staggering 8, 310, 993 views.

So let’s take a trip in the Acme Hindsight Marketing Machine, way back to September 10th, when a fictitious studious intern at an enlightened digital agency first stumbles upon the Crocker.

Intern shows video to Creative Director, it’s views are climbing, Creative Director is about to spend $500,000 on a viral for No Smear Tears Mascara (tested on reality show contestants), featuring a cat, some coke and some mint sweets dancing to a xylophone. The cat’s a no-show. Creative Director gets hold of the Crocker, strikes a deal, we add ‘just let it out - No Smear Tears Mascara’ at the end - if the video gets a 1,000,000 views we’ll give you $10,000, 3,000,000 views we’ll give you $20,000 or numbers to that effect.

11 days later and No Smear have signed up Crocker to a 3 x 5 minute viral deal, the only proviso is that he include at least one cat in it.

That’s not how digital agencies do business. It’s for the bold and not for the risk averse. It’s for those people who understand that the Digital Natives don’t respond to a super rich super model giving them make-up tips and mouthing an irritating jingle.

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